Day 2

We woke up with a new out look..we had slept and were raring to go!!

We found our way to the pool about 9 am.

We weren't sure if we could bring in our own drinks, or if that was a no no.

But that was only the first day..since we had to pay $10 for a Daquari with so little alcohol that it was ok to drink it at 9 am. Seriously. Lots of foreigners here..French in speedos, the English in whatever they wanted..yes I saw woman MY SIZE wearing a bikini..if that wasn't enough..the tag stuck up thru her butt crack and I just couldn't stop giggling at it. When she walked the lil tag flapped back and forth. She jiggled when she walked, hung over her bikini bottoms and I thought to myself...there is no way that I look that bad..but I could be wrong..lol thing is..I will never in my life see her again, and I think that was her mindset..perhaps if I ever visit England I will wear that suit in her honor...

We ate at the Earl of Sandwich, soup and pasta salad for me and it was awesome..Back to the room and off we go..

Down the strip we went..and the view of the casino's are just beautiful !! We went in about every one and looked around. Alynn had been before but I never had. To get across the street, you take and escalator up and walk over a walkway on most corners.

****I forgot to mention on the first night we walked down to the Trump towers. Talk about RITZY. but no casino.lol All the waitresses wore little black dresses and 3-4 inch heels..

I think daily we walked no less than 3 miles ..maybe 4. You just keep walking and walking because the sidewalk keeps going..

Day One

It's funny that in Las Vegas, there was no connection..well there was if I wanted to pay nearly 14 dollars a day for it..uh..NO..lol

So I didn't blog as I had hoped to.

So I will try and recap some of our adventure..

Day one:

I slept on the way to the airport..

I slept on the plane.

wheee..

We landed in the land of cha ching around 3:30 pm.

Right when you get off the plane there are slot machines..

I thought that was so funny! ding ding ding

We caught a shuttle to the Planet Hollywood, along with about 30 others. Talk about HOT outside. I think it was about 95 degrees but it was so dry..

Got to our room, it was a Bruce Willis room, with memorablia from some of his movies.. Our view was awesome, especially at night!

We of course zipped right down to find the machines, along with about 150 others..lol or more. I didn't ever try to figure out how many were there at anyone time, sooo many in and out all the time.

We didn't win..lol imagine that!

Friends

There are old friends..

and there are new friends..

isn't it funny..

how you can't imagine your life with

out either one?

I know I can't..

even the REALLY OLD ones..

hee hee

It was a horrible terrible no good

very bad night at work last nite.

I learned a few things tho..

and I'm tougher than I thought.

Life

is

good.

Sunny days..

Could it be anymore beautiful outside..

Sunny day...

Birds singing..

a slight light breeze..

I love it!

Hanging on..

Are you hanging on because you care?
Or..
Is it because it's suddenly come to light..
that you will be alone..

I think you should have thought of that before you
moved 9 hours away..

But maybe you are okay with that..
the distance..
they say it makes the heart grow fonder..

I'm becoming quite content here..
Alone on the farm as it were..
if it was a farm..
but it's home..
and that is where my heart is..

you just aren't.

A first

I hadn't heard from you in months..

you just texted out of the blue..

u came for supper..

but didn't eat..

so I didn't either..

so we talked which was quite nice..

sitting on the porch,

watching the traffic speed by,

the sun setting..

it got so cool..but nice.

I would have set there longer but I just got chilly...

You are quite simple as you say,

but sweet..

I enjoyed the time we spent together,



But can I get by that you are 15 years younger??

time will tell..

Say what?

I don't get it.

You really don't get it.

I don't know that you ever will..

So I guess we are at a standstill...

I will hold my ground,

you will have no choice

but to finally accept it.

I hope that happens soon..

my mind is tired of playing your game.

where?

Don't you sometimes wonder..

Where is the love of your life?

Where will you find them..

and just where do you look..

or do they find you?

Will it be a passing glance...

walking down the street?

Will you pass them in a hall..

will you even look up from the conversation you

are having to notice them?

When you are on the beach..

sunning...warm..but not really looking your

best..

will they see through that and

see you for you?

Where are you..

I don't think you exist..

Daily thoughts

I stop and think..
just about every day, about living alone..
I can't help it I guess since it's just pretty much in my face..
And I think back over the course of the last year, what could have been done
differently..on both our parts..
He could have been more honest from the beginning..
If he had I don't think I would be in the spot that I'm in right now.
Had I known he was married,
we wouldn't have ever even gone on the first date.
Not one..
I'm not saying i'm with out fault,
But all I asked for was honesty.

And all I got was a heartache.

Now of course, he wants to be that honest person
now that he lives in another state..
and has straightened out his life I guess.
Now he WANTS to marry me..
where was that 8 years ago???
Now he wants to live out HIS dream in another state..
it's not my dream tho..
why did it have to become such a nightmare for me
for him to have his dream.
I have to be low on sodium
for all the tears that have flowed over this man.

As we go along..

It's just funny..
not funny ha ha..
but funny strange to me.
When you are in a relationship, that is present..
and viewable to the outside world..
you are safe.
Safe to others as you are not a threat to their
own relationships..
Safe to yourself because you have someone to love
and the world knows it.
But when you are semi alone..
not quite sure if you are in a real relationship, altho
you feel in love,
it isn't visable to the outside world.
There isn't someone going with you to the grocery store..
there isn't someone snuggled up next to you on the couch..
there isn't that someone along for the ride..
you may talk to them 10 times a day..
you might think of them 100 times a day,
but they aren't here..
next to you and present.
So it may seem to the world that you are alone,
and they just leave you alone because they can I guess.
I just feel alone as far as my friends are concerned. even tho
in my heart I'm not..
It makes me think that moving south should be the answer..
I wouldn't be alone then..physically that is.
I don't know how to fix it, and maybe it doesn't need to be
fixed..
But where are you??

Ponder this...

There are actual affectable things..
and there are things that are just beyond your control..
Things that affect you can be close and far..
close is someone smiling at you just when you think no one is looking..
at the corner,
at the post office..
walking down the hall..
and what is beyond your control..
is just that..
and if they are ..
then how can they really affect you?
or do you just let them?
Do they just creep up on you from far away..
enter into your world with out your permission?
or do you let them in because you have no choice..

Closing a gate...

A person goes thru life..
waiting for those special moments..
some happen some don't..
but you take what you can..
you do what you can to make sure that you have
SOME type of enjoyment of life..

There are so many things that I am grateful for..
my kids..
my grandsons..
my comfy house..
my blue eyed dogs..
friends..
friends that stay friends..
through thick and thin..
ones that make life fun..
those are the things I'm grateful for..

I do however despise the ones that only enter
into your life to gain something from you..
like a ride to somewhere..and a ride to no where..
make promises that they don't ever keep..
they take and take..they suck your brain dry..

and then when you ask for something in return..

they bail..they scatter..they don't follow thru..
and those my friends..
just aren't going to be my friends any more..
I have to take a stand and just say enough is
enough..

wow

I am now living alone..
that is just the oddest feeling really..
Just a year ago, I was contemplating if I would ever get married....
Then I thought I just might..
now I'm alone again.
The house is empty..
and filled with huge empty memories...
no pitter patters
no talking..
no one.

I don't know that I like it at all..
and it's only been a few days.
How will I make it longer..
time heals
I hope.